Hello lower life-forms. I thought I'd have a little chat with you as I am having such success with Clare-training. If you can send me more young staff of superior intellect and ability like that they may be adequate.
I am of course a cat, Felix superiourosa, now resident here in Australia on Flinders Island. I do a great many things for my staff. I help them with map reading by sitting on the map. I've shown them how to cat-walk along the fence while they clean nets. The difficulty they have in comparitively simple art of walking along a 2 inch wide plank gracefully takes some believing. I've of course done a lot of supervising in getting them to dress suitably for my kneads (a girl, even one as beautiful as me, has kneads. I like the fluffy jersey. Blue. It brings out the colour of my eyes.
I also do a great deal of typing with my feet, by walking up and down the keyboard. Here I am helping one of my humans to play some bizarre game that did not even involve cuddling me or giving me nice fish.
I occassionally also train dogs. Here i am teaching that blond labrador how to roll over, lick your furry breeches and then play dead. But Labradors are very slow on the uptake.
Hail kitty, queen of all you pervey (and many thigns you don't). You know, there's a reason cats were worshiped as deities...
ReplyDeleteDear Robin.
ReplyDeleteIts a disgrace isn't it. You just can't get decent quality staff these days. I mean you get this seat all nice and comfy and then it gets up and moves for no good reason. Anyway best of luck with the training.
Yours
Inu
Dear Robin,
ReplyDeleteDo your dogs bark too much? Mine keep getting in my face, which is sometimes nice for a quick wash when I'm too tired to do my own. At least your humans make nice fresh fish for you. I despair of training mine to do the proper thing here.
Yours very truly,
Miss Kedgie Princess
dear Lamb - that's why she was called Bast, or sometimes Bastet, (according to Amelia Peabody, de cat Bastet)
ReplyDeleteDear Francis, you have to learn to stick your claws in to them when they even think of moving. Not hard, just enough. Pick on a sensible bit of anatomy for this.
ReplyDeleteDear Miss Kedgie Princess, Dogs are jut SO infra dig. And these ones have a desire to wash my undercarridge which I feel they are just not good enough for. As for the fish, do send your human for training.
ReplyDeleteHer Supreme Highness Princess Polly Pink-nose is of the belief that dogs should (1) be outside; (2) be wet; (3) be miserable and (4) be hungry.
ReplyDeleteShe observes this from her window on the inside where it's warm, dry and she has an unending supply of kitty crunchies, supplemented by the odd bowl of milk.
Dear Princess Polly Pink-nose. These spend most of their time outdoors, don't mind being wet, and are labradors so perpetually hungry even if they are bursting, and are too dim to be suitably miserable. Actually we are quite used to each other, and I use them as smelly hot water bottles sometimes, when there is no staff available.
ReplyDelete