Friday, April 1, 2011

New York

I have decided to move to inner city New York and become a Vegan. Unfortunately I can't take my dogs and and cats but I will have them put down and not just abandon them. It will be a little sad but I can console myself with being able to afford some fashionable outfits to wear while I sip my caffeine free lattes and work on my latest Vampire bestseller on my Apple in one of those little coffee shops.

Yes! My new life starts today. My Astrologer, Ms. Far Opolli, pale-pinked my palm. What was the date again?

9 comments:

  1. It quite likely was the visit to the dentist that sent Dave down a different path.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dave, for once your fantasy sucks...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, no. It's alternate universe Dave...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ive decided to join a Marxist vegetarian lesbian commune in Outer Mongolia.

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOL - OK it was the bit about the dogs and cats that gave me away? Yes, Glenda, an AWFUL fantasy.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Gee, Dave, I believe I know that coffee shop ....

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi Chris - not as erudite as your blog here :-). I'm sure some of my fellow authors know and love that coffee shop. It's the idea of being able to work in one (I'd eavesdrop) AND drink decaf that makes my blood freeze.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ha! I totally agree ... even though I grew up in New York and love the city. In fact the worst case of writer's block I ever had was when we were in New York for work and I had to work in the coffee shops there.

    I am a confirmed coffee shop writer. I love to write in the middle of noise and bustle - and I love even more the chance to eavesdrop on my neighbors! Where I live now that mostly means hearing farmers talk about crop rotation or listening to our local gang of folk musician/housepainters plan next year's bluegrass festival or the color scheme for the old farmhouse down the road that's finally getting a facelift. And more often than not, eavesdropping turns into just plain moving over to the next table for a sociable coffee break ... always welcome in a job as inherently solitary as writing.

    In New York, on the other hand, I would walk into the coffee shop, sit down ... and realize that every single table around me had its own Aspiring Writer armed with latte and laptop. They all looked less like any real writer I've ever met than like Gwyneth Paltrow practicing for her next screen role as a Future Famous Poet. And they all looked so much more intelligent, articulate and serious than me that, really, the only sane response was to go back to the apartment and watch daytime TV!

    So, yeah ... New York coffee shops. Great place to visit but I wouldn't want to write in one. On the other hand, if you're ever up in my neck of the woods, feel free to drop into my local diner. You might not get much work done, but I think you'd like my neighbors.....

    ReplyDelete