Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Of plastic Alligators and black Cockatoos

The plastic alligator is like itself and I suspect the tears of it are wet, but it is like no other beast, possibly being closest related to the mandoline, or maybe, in the vagaries of biology, the rock hyrax. If that can be related to hippotomice then anything is possible. The bite of the plastic alligator which is a square grid of not very sharp blades, is supposed to reduce a potato to skinny chips. It does not do this with any notable success, but was sort of able to reduce a cooked potato to lumpy mash, which made lousy chips. It did come into its own with biting through a hunk of outsized zucchini, doing more or less what the mandoline would, perhaps slightly quicker. I salted and drained those zucchini chips and sprinkled them with chili, herbs and flour, and seeing as I had the deep fryer ready for the chips, fried them. They were OK, but as a reason for the kitchen utensil called the alligator, not cutting the mustard, let alone the potatoes. So last night we had fish and croquettes (use for lumpy mash) some skinny chips, some ordinary chips and deep fried zucchini chips. A very fried meal, quite unusual for us.

This morning I had three yellow-tailed black cockatoos in the dead branches of the gum outside my study. Their cries are raucous and I will swear one was yelling 'get yer plastic alligator here' which is an unusual thing to say while looking for wood-boring grubs. But then, nature can be strange.

We had a possum in the house again last night. It ate the catfood and partially two potatoes. Rather like snakes, I think their protection is over-rated in this environment. Perhaps I will give this one to the plastic alligator. And on this whimsical note I will leave you to go and write more of the book.

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