Monday, May 2, 2011

Bill and Garfish, LIVE at badger corner.

Okay, roll up, roll up! I'm selling tickets to one of the greast shows of all time -- ergo my mate Bill and the Garfish. Yes, you do have to wade out in the dark into the cold sea until it reaches your frilly bits, but it's worth it, really (and of course worth my extortionate charges. Sorry, these are traditional) We have a supporting act of Arthur and Jane and the incredible wader-striptease, and our wonderful Polish chorus-singer. You'll love it, trust me.

The first part involves Bill and the landing-net dance, in which the garfish swims through the meshes with grace and charm, and Bill tries to catch the same fish (same performance) three times, with lots of lovely piroettes and an arabesque with an eloquent monologue fitting for the House of Lords. Then we have the part where an enraged Bill swats the water so hard with his net that he stuns the garfish, which he then catches. Then we have the part where our lead performer -- well trained by yours truly at skinny-fish spearing -- gives up the net in dispair and resorts to trying to spear gars - which are long, thin and very fast. This is very acrobatic, and surprisingly successful, and leads us to a beautiful, poignant finale, with Bill with two garfish and his underwater light in one hand, and rather decent gar trapped between the tines of his spear and the mud, and him standing on the fish so it won't get away, all to the melodious baritone solo-piece 'Maria, come help me!' (and in the background the chorus sings 'Oh poor little fish, So beautiful. Ooh quick quick there's a big one! Oh poor little fish...'

Priceless entertainment! And all yours for mere windy autumn night off Badger corner.
Cheap at twice the price.
;-)

11 comments:

  1. :-):-)
    and during all this you were...?

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  2. Snicker. Reminds me of a certain fishing trip, my sister trying to land a good sized rock fish, her helpful husband finding two hands one too few and fish about to escape . . . bit it. The open lower jaw being all that was available, the fish of course, bit back.

    After the sad shaving of the mustache, the wounds were decreed to be punctures and therefor best dealt with by slow application of a fine red wine, rather than stitches.

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  3. So, this is a totally random comment to see if it disappears again, like my last one did.

    Seaboe, aka Lisa S. in Seattle

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  4. Lisa it seems to have worked this time.

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  5. All right then--this is also off-topic, but I wanted to give you a link to my blog (not that I suppose you have time to read it): http://seaboe.livejournal.com

    Lisa S. in Seattle

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  6. Moi? I was using a slightly more viable net :-)

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  7. MataPam that tops my story!

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  8. Well, I can't top your stories, but I, too, wanted to share my blog with you. Although I do know, as Seaboe says, you won't have time to read it! http://sanborntonfarm.com

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  9. I don't have a blog to share :-(, but I enjoy yours, especially these hilarious snippets, which seem to make up most of it. I will take 2 tickets for June, but hold the onions.

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  10. I am holding the onions. There are not many of them and they're rather small. I shall see you get front-water seats

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  11. Cedar and Lisa - I went and popped in on both your blogs. If I figure out how I'll link them here.

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