Monday, April 25, 2011

How to lose weight without diets or extra excercise

And keep it off!

The answer, dear reader, is easy. Strap 9 kgs of lead around your waist and proceed into the sea. Somewhere, about 5-6 metres down... have it unhitch.

Given that I float like a cork in a wetsuit (you've never seen how a cork floats in a wetsuit? You poor deprived soul. Write to your MP at once!)I need a weightbelt to get even an inch underwater, this has issues...

I tried the 'new' wetsuit Peter picked up for me at a garage sale. It's - I thought - only 5mm. Long-john and seperate hooded top, and my 'new' BC... which kept inflating. The wetsuit is great fit - like it was made for me, but I soon discovered has two problems, the one less of an issue than the other. Firstly, it's the warmest wetsuit I have ever worn. It has soft gussets on the sleeves and I suspect qualifies as a semi-dry suit. I nearly expired of heat... in the water. This will be wonderful for spring when our water is really cold. For a day when I was having to struggle to get underwater it was very hot. The second problem (besides the BC issue) was that it is also more boyant than my 7mm suit (also longjohn and top) MUCH more bouyant. In fact it took 2 weightbelts to get me down - and I still had to hold on and swim down. 15Kg of lead, and of course the weight of the tank takes some carrying. And then - as happens - I had a fin come off. I turned to grab it and found myself heading upward -- with one fin the swim down was really hard. I dropped the spear to use both arms. Got it... it was drifting off a few feet from the bottom, and with two fins and enormous effort got the handspear. Seriously, it was two exhausing swims... around 10 metres that felt like swimming a half a mile. I was really tired and had battled to stay under all the way (about 80 yards) and decided shore was the better part of trying to get down (assuming my BC feed or valve was malfuntioning)and killing myself with exhaustion. The trouble with being really tired (and HOT) is the brain obviously wasn't working, as I must have swum 2/3 of the way to the shore before realising the problem was that I'd lost a weight-belt.

So I lost weight and I am furious about it. I have a very slim chance of finding it, and it represents a fair amount of work and a lot of time, and rather a lot of not so cheap or available lead - weights are $18 each and I'd need about 7 and a belt is $12 so buying it right OUT.

The physical effort probably DID lose me a kg or two. Personally, as way of reducing body mass, lugging heavy weights and swimming against bouyancy sucks.

And what's the bet that smart-arse google links this to a whole bunch of weight-loss and diet sites?

The Anzac day service on the hill above Marshall Bay in the predawn remains one of the most moving experiences of my being in Australia. The moment's silence after the last post was again broken by the kookaburra, and the grey distances of the bay made the scene with cenotaph and flag at half mast eerie and magnificent.

Lest we forget.

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